Saturday, October 6, 2007

thoughts on prayer

Although I honor both God and Goddess, I am definitely more drawn towards the Goddess (in all her forms). I joined The Order of the White Moon about a year and a half ago and have been slowly... very slowly... going through their training process ever since. I'm in Level II of the courses now, and the latest lesson had a choice between continuing on the Path of Magick or the Path of Prayer (whatever the student wants to learn more about). I chose prayer, and had to answer these questions:

How has prayer been a part of your past spiritual practice?
What have been the positive aspects of prayer for you?
The negative?
What and whom have you prayed for in the past?
Have you used any of the following in your prayer practice:candles, incense, chanting, bells, drums, visualization?
How would you like this practice to change, to grow?
How does prayer work?
How does your belief and energy mingle with the Divine?
What are your beliefs about the Divine?

My responses:

Prayer has been a big part of my past spiritual practice. Its my primary mode of interacting with the Divine. I mostly pray for things for myself, though I occasionally say a prayer for a friend or a family member if they’re going through a rough time. Sometimes I say a prayer along with an offering of incense, or light a candle and just talk to whichever deity about my concerns.

Prayer is generally a positive experience for me because it makes me feel connected to my deities. It helps me to calm my mind, and feel more peaceful. Generally, if I go too long without talking to them I am more likely to get stressed and irritable. That feeling of connection to the divine is very important to me. As for negative aspects… well, sometimes I have the fear that I’m just talking to myself. Not in the sense of questioning the existence of a deity, but questioning whether the divine listens or cares or acts in the world. That feeling doesn’t usually last long, but is just a part of my eternal skepticism.

I’d like to deepen and expand my experience with prayer though. My prayers are usually very short and simple. Simplicity is good most of the time, but I wouldn’t mind learning how to better add spontaneous complexity, and just to vary my practice in general.

I think prayer works because the divine hears and responds. Things like raising energy I associate more with magickal work, though I think that can be combined with prayer for good effect, especially in ritual.

I believe that the divine is within everyone, within nature, and within the universe – though not limited to any of these things. It is male and female and neither. Like facets of a gem, I believe deity has many distinct and separate faces that are still part of one whole. I’ve been reading Women’s Rites, Women’s Mysteries, and there was a quote by the author that I felt describes my belief well: “The Goddess exists within and without simultaneously. In calling Her forward, I am awakening Her within myself and asking that She come into my conscious awareness. At the same time, I am calling Her from Her own realm where She exists independently of me… It is a multi-layered process. I am a part of Her; She is a part of me. Once I invoke Her, I open myself to embody Her. This is different than becoming Her. For me to experience Her presence, She must already live within me, so that I can recognize Her energetic presence when She arrives.”